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The Fatal Mistake Too Many Falsely Accused Fathers Make



By Michael Thompson, Founder of The Falsely Accused Network


There’s a critical mistake we see far too often from men who’ve been falsely accused of domestic abuse—particularly those on police bail—and it’s costing them their relationships with their children.


Here’s how it usually plays out: after being accused, a father is arrested or voluntarily interviewed, released on police bail, and often handed strict bail conditions that prevent him from contacting his ex-partner, or sometimes even his children. Understandably, he decides to wait. He thinks: “Once the police investigation is over and I’m cleared, then I’ll go to court and get contact with my kids again.” On the surface, this seems like the sensible option. In reality, it’s a trap.


Why waiting is a fatal mistake


Let’s be clear: police bail can drag on for months—sometimes years. There is no guaranteed timeline. While you’re waiting for the police to finish investigating a false allegation, your ex-partner is establishing the status quo. And in family court, status quo matters. A lot. If the children haven’t seen you for six months or more, a court might treat that absence as the new normal.


The longer you wait, the more entrenched the mother’s position becomes. She may be telling the court—or worse, telling your children—that you’ve abandoned them. That you’re dangerous. That you’re not interested. The courts often give considerable weight to continuity and perceived stability in a child’s life. If contact has stopped and you haven’t taken steps to get it reinstated, the risk is the court sides with her version of events.


The myth of “No Further Action” solving everything


We often hear this too: “Once the police drop it, I’ll be fine in family court.” Unfortunately, that’s another dangerous misunderstanding.


The criminal courts operate to a very high threshold: beyond reasonable doubt, meaning a jury (or magistrates) must be sure you committed the offence. But the family courts use a much lower bar: balance of probabilities—just 51% likelihood. A judge doesn’t need to be sure. They only need to think it’s slightly more likely than not that something happened.


This means a false allegation that was dropped by the police for lack of evidence could still be found proven in family court. And if that happens, you may face supervised contact, indirect contact, or no contact at all.



What you should do


If your contact with your child has stopped—and there’s no genuine prospect of mediation (or you're not even allowed to try)—you must apply for a Child Arrangements Order without delay. Don’t wait for the police. Don’t wait for the CPS. Don’t wait for the stars to align.


Make the application, explain the circumstances in your C100 form, and ask the court to put safe contact in place—whether that’s supervised, indirect, or via a contact centre—anything is better than nothing. It keeps you in your child’s life and on the court’s radar.


We understand you don’t want to rock the boat. We know the system is daunting and unfair. But waiting does not protect you—it harms your case. We’ve supported too many men who’ve waited, only to be told by the court, “It’s been a year since the children saw you. We can’t just reintroduce you overnight.”


Final word


Being falsely accused is a nightmare. But losing your children permanently because of a decision you thought was sensible is even worse. If you’ve been cut off and there’s no other route, act now. Don’t wait. Don’t give up.


We’re here to help you take that step.


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For help, advice, or a referral to a solicitor or McKenzie Friend, contact the Falsely Accused Network.


📞 0204 548 8788


Falsely Accused Network

Set up by the falsely accused for the falsely accused


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