When Everything And Anything Becomes Abuse

Falsely Accused Network
Aug 2
3 min read

Written by Michael Thompson, Founder of the Falsely Accused Network

Abuse used to mean something clear. Physical violence. Coercion. Serious harm. Now it includes anything someone feels upset about.

That shift causes damage. When everything is abuse, nothing is.

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Changing the Definition

Family courts once required clear evidence. Police reports. Medical records. Witnesses.

Now it is often based on personal feelings. How someone felt is being treated as fact. This approach allows people to make claims without proving them.

Examples:

A parent sets boundaries. The other claims “emotional abuse”.

An argument happens. It becomes “psychological control”.

One partner feels uncomfortable. The other is labelled unsafe.

This does not help real victims. It creates confusion. It undermines trust in the system.

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Poor Behaviour is Not Abuse

Shouting in an argument is poor behaviour. Being rude or cold is unkind. These things are not abuse.

Bad behaviour is common in relationships. Abuse is something else. It is serious, repeated, and harmful.

Calling every mistake “abuse” damages the word. It also damages the people who need protection from real abuse.

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What This Approach Causes

Allowing perception to override facts creates problems:

False claims. People use abuse allegations to gain advantage in family disputes.

Lost contact. Parents are cut off from children based on feelings, not facts.

Overloaded courts. Judges deal with emotion instead of evidence.

Reduced credibility. Real victims are harder to identify.

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Real Examples

A father enforced consequences after his teenage son broke house rules. The mother claimed this harmed the child’s mental health. The court reduced his contact. There was no evidence of aggression.

In another case, a mother stopped contact with the father. She said she was protecting the child. The father said she was alienating the child. The court ruled in her favour based on how she described her intentions.

A man was convicted of assault by beating. His offence was throwing a pillow at his ex-partner during an argument. That behaviour was wrong. But is it in the same category as repeated physical attacks? The law needs to reflect levels of seriousness. Otherwise, the public will stop trusting the system.

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We Need to Measure Severity

The law should not treat all allegations the same. There is a difference between a heated argument and long-term violence. When we blur those lines, we:

Overpunish minor incidents.

Undermine the seriousness of real abuse.

Confuse the public.

Waste court time.

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What Counts as Evidence

Abuse must be proved with something objective. Not feelings. Not hunches.

Valid evidence includes:

Consistent witness accounts.

Patterns of behaviour over time.

Police or medical reports.

Text messages, emails, or recordings.

If someone makes a claim, they should prove it. If the court accepts emotion as truth, no one is safe from false accusations.

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Culture and Court Are Linked

Society has become more sensitive to harm. That can be good. But there is a risk. If every disagreement is framed as abuse, the court system becomes unmanageable.

Children are the ones who suffer. They are caught between parents and systems that no longer value truth. Courts must focus on facts, not feelings.

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What Needs to Change

Abuse claims must be based on evidence.

Courts must recognise levels of seriousness.

Judges must stop rewarding emotional claims without proof.

Society must stop calling every uncomfortable experience “abuse”.

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Contact Falsely Accused Network

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