The Build-Up to False Allegations of Domestic Abuse: Recognising the Patterns
- Falsely Accused Network
- 2 days ago
- 3 min read
By Michael Thompson, Founder and Director of the Falsely Accused Network
Introduction
False allegations of domestic abuse are not random. In the work we do at the Falsely Accused Network, one thing becomes clear: there is nearly always a build-up, a run-up, a pattern of circumstances that lead to these allegations.
Recognising these patterns is vital, not just for those of us supporting the falsely accused, but for professionals in the police, courts, and social services. Allegations cannot be understood in isolation — they must be seen in context.
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1. When a Man Discovers an Affair
One of the most common triggers for false allegations is the discovery of infidelity. A man uncovers evidence of his partner’s affair, leading to a confrontation — often verbal, not physical. The next day, it is not unusual for him to face a knock on the door and an allegation of abuse.
This is a classic deflection tactic. The partner who has been unfaithful shifts the blame by casting herself as the victim and the man as the aggressor.
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2. The Spousal Visa Scam
Another destructive pattern is the spousal visa fraud. A man marries a woman from abroad, believing he has found love. At first, she appears kind, caring, and committed. But shortly after securing her visa or right to remain, her behaviour shifts dramatically. Hostility and manipulation replace affection — and before long, false allegations of domestic abuse are made.
In these cases, the allegation often strengthens her immigration claim, while destroying the man’s life in the process.
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3. When a Man Says He’s Leaving
Another common scenario arises when a man decides to leave a relationship. Instead of accepting the end, his partner reacts with anger and vengeance. In some cases, this leads directly to false allegations of abuse.
This is particularly frequent in relationships where a partner has traits of Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) or Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder (EUPD). False allegations become a weapon of control, used to punish and prevent abandonment.
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4. When a Man Finds New Love
Another disturbing pattern we see is when a man moves on after a breakup. He may have separated from his ex-partner, share a child with her, and have an amicable co-parenting arrangement. Everything is running smoothly — until he meets a new girlfriend or remarries.
For reasons that are often difficult to explain, this is the point at which some ex-partners suddenly make false allegations of abuse. Whether it stems from jealousy, resentment, or a desire to sabotage the new relationship, the pattern is unmistakable. Overnight, what had been working smoothly in terms of contact with his child can turn into a nightmare of accusations and restrictions.
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Why These Patterns Matter
These scenarios reveal something crucial: false allegations are rarely random. They are often born out of high conflict, betrayal, jealousy, or fear of losing control.
Unfortunately, the criminal justice and family court systems often ignore these contexts. Allegations are taken at face value, treated as standalone events rather than reactions within a broader pattern. For the falsely accused, this means their truth is silenced while their lives are dismantled by accusations that lack credibility.
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Conclusion
At the Falsely Accused Network, we see these stories every day. The exposure of an affair, spousal visa scams, relationship breakdowns, and even the decision to move on with a new partner are among the most common triggers for false allegations.
Recognising these patterns does not diminish the seriousness of genuine abuse. It ensures justice is based on evidence, not manipulation. Until our system acknowledges these dynamics, countless men — and their families — will continue to suffer under false accusations.
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Contact the Falsely Accused Network
If you have been falsely accused and need guidance or support, you can contact us directly:
📧 Email: support@falselyaccusednetwork.co.uk
🌐 Website: www.falselyaccusednetwork.co.uk
📞 Telephone: 0204 538 8788
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